


The Quota

by Kaoru_chibimaster



Category: Final Fantasy XV, Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Crack, Don't let me write when I'm tired, Gen, I'm 90 percent sure no one's actually gonna read this though, I'm Sorry, i don't even know what this is, not my normal writing style, pure unadulterated crack, so...yeah this is a thing now, versus xiii noct because reasons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-16
Updated: 2016-11-16
Packaged: 2018-08-31 07:41:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8570026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaoru_chibimaster/pseuds/Kaoru_chibimaster
Summary: Nothing makes sense anymore...





	

If Sora looked back on every weird situation he’s been in before…  
Nah, there’d still be nothing weirder than this.  
He was almost convinced he was dreaming; after all, he wouldn’t have voluntarily worn a frilly pink dress and jewel encrusted crown.  
Okay. Maybe he’d wear the crown.  
But the dress raised quite a few questions.  
As did the stone tower (?).  
With no door.   
Why didn’t it have a door?! Or a stairwell?! …A sun roof?  
Well. There was a window.  
Sora glared at the tiny box shaped window, sun rays filtering happily into the dinky stone room.  
This place really was dinky too. C’mon, the mattress took up half the room.  
And he wasn’t sure what that stain over in the corner was, and he didn’t want to find out.  
But he was getting sidetracked. There was still the dilemma of the dress and the window.  
Yeah, he could take the dress off. But he didn’t have any clothes. And despite being able to pull a giant key out of thin air, he couldn’t do the same with threads.  
As for the window… He checked. He wouldn’t survive that fall.  
The people who built this tower weren’t even nice enough to plant a tree outside that he could attempt (and possibly fail) to jump into.   
Hmm… Maybe if he tried hard enough, he’d relearn the glide ability from out of nowhere.  
That’d be nice.  
Backing up, Sora crouched into position as he prepared to toss himself through that window and hope for the best.  
He started running.  
And slammed directly into something.  
Something that definitely wasn’t there before.  
“Whoa, geez! What was—”  
Sora’s words were cut off as he took in the person standing before him. Dressed in all black—  
Wait was he wearing a trash bag?  
Well, anyway. Dressed in all black and holding a sword that seemed to be fitted with some sort of contraption at the hilt (that’s cool, why can’t Sora have a keyblade like that?), the stranger stared down at Sora with dark red eyes.  
Sora stared back.  
The stranger continued staring.  
Sora still stared back.  
There was a lot of staring going on here…  
“So, uh… You got any extra trash bags you can lend me so I can get outta this dress?”  
“Trash bags? What are you—? Ugh, nevermind that. C’mon, I’m gonna bust you out of here,” the stranger replied, his eyebrows, previously raised in confusion, now furrowed in concentration.  
Honestly, Sora was surprised he could even see this stranger’s eyebrows behind all that hair in his face. It was almost as bad as Riku. Almost…  
“Okaaay. That’s nice of you and all, but I don’t even know where here is. And why do you have to bust me out? And why am I wearing a dre—”  
Sora’s questions were cut off when the stranger grabbed him around the middle and hoisted him up under his arm.  
“Stop asking questions. The last one did that and I wanted to rip my hair out.”  
“Might do you a favor.”  
“What was that?”  
“Nothing!”  
Sora had to backtrack on the stranger’s words however. If there was a ‘last one’ then what happened to them? Maybe they, or this stranger, knew what was going on.  
He was just about ready to hit the stranger with another barrage of questions…  
Partially just to see what he’d do.  
But also to get some answers. He was really out of the loop here, after all.  
Until he blinked and was suddenly outside the…oh, he was right. It was a tower. Weird.  
Wait, what? How is he out here?  
“Wha…? How…? When…?”  
He was promptly dropped.  
“Ouch, man, what was that for?”  
Sending an irritated glance at the stranger…who was this guy anyway? He held out a hand to help Sora up, however, so he let it slide.  
“Sorry, you were heavy.”  
“Oh…”  
…  
…  
…  
“Now will you tell me what’s going on?”  
The stranger sighed as his eyes wandered to their surroundings. Trees everywhere. Trees that were still nowhere near close enough to the tower Sora was stuck in. Harsh.  
“I’m supposed to be filling my JRPG hero-quota,” he explained.  
“And that is…?”  
“Rescue a princess from a tower at least once a month. Apparently too many JRPGs are being progressive nowadays and making the princesses save themselves, or fight alongside the hero. I personally don’t see the issue, but from what I hear, if there’s too much originality in the world and not enough clichés, the entirety of existence will implode.”  
…  
“I didn’t understand any of that. I’m Sora, by the way.”  
“Noctis.”  
They shook hands. It was agreed then and there that they just wouldn’t question this JRPG hero-quota thing.  
But that still left one question.  
“But why am I the princess?”  
And in a frilly pink dress? Cliché indeed…  
Noctis’s shrug was not reassuring.  
“I guess we’re running out of princesses to save. I recognize your name. Didn’t you save, like, seven at once at some point?”  
Well, yeah.  
At the rate Sora was saving princesses, he was probably set for life in terms of this hero-quota-whatever.   
Doesn’t explain why he never heard of it, but then…  
Nothing was making any sense anyway.  
Like, why he’s the princess in this situation.  
“You just gonna stand there? I thought you wanted to get out of that dress?”  
Spurred by his own words, Noctis started walking in whatever direction.  
Why this guy was walking when he could apparently teleport (he decided to just accept that that was how they got out of the tower), Sora couldn’t begin to understand.  
Sora started off after him. Maybe Noctis would lead him to civilization, and Sora could possibly find Donald and Goofy there. Maybe he’d remember how he ended up in that tower in the first place.  
It was like Castle Oblivion all over again.  
He still didn’t know why he was the princess.  
“I still don’t get how I’m in this dress in the first place!” Sora huffed.   
Noctis sent him a raised eyebrow.  
“Don’t princesses wear dresses?”  
“Not all the time—wait, but I’m not even really a princess! Does this even count?!”  
Another shrug. That was annoying.  
“Don’t even bother asking me. I’m still trying to figure out how I got caught up in this mess. I was just fishing…”  
“Who even told you about this quota? Maybe they got us both in this situation?”  
Sora wanted to know who deserved his Kingdom Key shoved up their—  
“No one told me. It was in the book.”  
“What book?”  
Noctis tossed a large tome at Sora. Sora nearly tripped over a frilly hem trying to catch it.  
On the cover, in large, fancy words, was the title: Guide to Being a Courageous Hero.  
There was a bookmark sticking out of it. Sora turned to its page.  
On it was a list of names under the page header ‘quota’.  
At the bottom of the list was…not Sora’s name. Not at all.  
“What the—?! I’m not even in here!”  
“Yeah, I changed my mind last minute. Figured you’d want the help anyway.”  
Sora was beyond words.  
Well, no actually.  
No he wasn’t.  
“You had an actual princess to save in here! Why didn’t you rescue her?!”  
His exasperation only earned him an equally exasperated eye roll from his…savior.  
“You don’t expect me to save Stella’s irrelevant ass.”  
Bewildered, Sora looked at the book again.  
Stella’s name had been crossed out.  
Underneath it was written another name, with a tiny heart next to it.  
Lunafreya ♥   
Now there were no words.

**Author's Note:**

> What even is this fic? I'm so confused...


End file.
